JARED, Butcher of Song

Reprinted with permission from
"Touching Me, Touching You, Touching Me Again: A JARED discography".

While Central America has seen more than its share of atrocities in recent years; never before have lovely songs been brutalized as thoroughly as by the vocal stylings of JARED, the Head of Security at FREEVERSE SOFTWARE. 

Like an angry Immigration officer, Jared's distinctive renditions grab us, slap us around, threatens to cavity search us and ultimately demand our passports be issued from that same circle of hell from which his voice originates.

Never has the mating of cats sounded so melodic as after one has listened to "El Carnicero de Canciones,"  the "Butcher of Songs,"  as Jared was known in Guatemala.

Luckily, he also likes to play cards, which keeps him from singing for a brief time.